Proverbs 31 Woman, a.k.a. Lois Lane....

     Have you ever noticed how little boys are the most valiant people on earth?? They are. Forever playing heroes and saving the day.....how do we keep those ideals in tender young hearts?? 

     I pray that my sons never lose that quality. And that they will marry women who bring out the "inner hero" that I know beats in their hearts! SuperMan has NOTHING on little boys.

So it begs the question:  Are we those kind of women?  Do I bring out he "inner hero" in my husband and for that matter, in my sons?  This is a hard question for me some days.  It's also one I want to keep in the front of my mind.  We can do this ladies and for that matter, we should.  The men we are married to had mother's who pondered this same question...

Up, Up, and AWAY!

Proverbs 31:11 " Her husband trusts her completely.  With her, he has everything he needs."  NCV

Feeling more like a grown-up every day.....

I am finally growing up, won't my parents be proud?! 

Here comes my favorite quote again:  This becoming is harder than it seems.  Changing the way you've always done things, always responded to situations...it's hard work.  God has been walking me through the need to change the way my mind "sees" things for a long time.  I just now feel as though I'm 'getting it!

 I'm the one who has always felt like I had to "fix it"--whatever it was and who's ever it was that was broken.  One of the hardest areas of this is my marriage realtionship and in my boys with their dad.  I can want for them (especially DH) to see the bigger picture and respond differently himself--but I am finally realizing I can't DO it for them.  I'm also waking up to the idea that it doesn't mean they (especially the boys) will hold it against me. (This seems so elementary to hear myself saying, but I have never truly embraced this truth.)  To me it has always seemed like I had to make it all right because I am the really the reason the problems exists because I chose.  I chose my DH and I chose to have children, therefore, I am responsible to make all those relationships work.  SILLY!  But just what the Enemy has had me believing for a lot of years!! 

This morning after a night of going to bed without a situation "fixed" between by oldest and my DH and symbolically putting them in my hands and lifting my hands to God, asking Him to take them both and work on them, I woke up with a strange new sense of peace.  Also with a clear message from God that just because their relationship with each other is out of sorts at the moment, that doesn't mean that my relationship with either one of them has to be.  Is this making sense to anyone? 

For years I felt like I had to jump in and keep talking to both of them until they "saw the light" and resolved things......right then and right there.  This time new pieces of information and new scriptures I had memorized come flooding in instead.  It was a battle for ME then, would I continue my old ways or listen to what God had been teaching me.  My son is a baptized believer and so is my DH--they both have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit--they don't HAVE to have me!  Get it? 

Don't misunderstand, I still talked to them about what TRUTH says about various things I saw going on in each of them.  But that's where I left it.  The rest is up to God!  NOT me!  I don't have to make them "see it", no matter how plain it appears to me.  We are all at different places on our walks.  Not only that, things I'm realizing about how differently men process things may mean that what this means to me, may not actually be what it means to them!  See, thinking more like a grown-up. 

They haven't spoken to one other yet, as far as I know and I don't know what paths they'll each take to set the thing straight between them.  (I hope they don't just let it lay around to rear it's head again, but that's one of their options.)  I also hope they both have spent some time in prayer and introspection.  However the morning saw both of them expressing their love toward me.  My son doesn't hate me for picking a rotten dad (not that he is! but don't we all have our moments?)  Additionally my DH didn't ask me how I could not absolutely see things his way.  No, in fact it was business as pleasantly as usual. 

I still have so far to go.  When to jump in?  When to back off?  When is it my fault?   When is it a lie being fed to me from the Enemy?   When to defend?  When to hold one accountable?  How to make sure relationships are held onto with both hands but not at all costs? 

It's tough being a 'grown-up', at least the kind I desire to be. 

Gratefully I have such a grace-filled, merciful, appropriately discipling Father for a role model!  Thanks Dad, Love your Little Girl.

Time for a New Reel in the View Master

You remember View Master's don't you?  Red with two eye pieces you look through?  Stick in a round card, a reel, with little square pictures in it, usually words underneath describing what you were looking at.  I liked the one God had placed in mine years ago.  I loved pulling the handle down and viewing the images!!  Click.  I knew just how everything was going to go.  But now.......


We are a family in turmoil at the moment.  The thing is it's nothing huge so we can run in and fix "it".  It's a pile of little things which makes it SO much harder to tackle!  Just when you think you've got one beat, three others are jumping you from behind and two more are lurking in the corner, in the dark, waiting.  They're insidious.  Money, work, clutter, teen issues, a house that is just too small, a mom that has had to go back to work--tries to be a good sport about it, but is a disgruntled worker;  a dad who is ready to work on projects, not homework-----in a word or two:  hope deferred.  That's us.


GULP.  As I write that it dawned on me, literally, how accurate it truly is.  AND where that verbage comes from.  Proverbs 13:12  "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." NIV.  WOW! 


There are indeed tons of spiritual applications here and I can draw them out easily.  But you know what strikes me the most RIGHT NOW.  God gets it.  He understands this part of being human too.  He included disappointment right there in the Bible, so when I got disappointed and overwhelmed He didn't scould me for it He simply said He understood.  And then he moved on to the next verse.  He also said when your longing was fulfilled that felt AWESOME! (Yeah, I paraphrased.)


  Now I feel completely comfortable going to the Word looking for comfort for my 'sick heart' over stuff that someone else might try and tell me I should look at the 'bright side' over.  God didn't.  He said--"hope deferred makes a heart sick".  He didn't tell me; "but look at how many years you had at home with your kids!"  Or, "at least you have a nice house."  Or, "You could always take your kids out of that school, or not take a vacation," or fill in the blank.    He has lots of instructions and guidance, but right here He just says---I KNOW that hurts when you don't get what you hoped for and it feels great when you do.  Period. 


For today that's what I needed from my God.  Just like someday's I don't want my husband to try and 'fix' the problem just listen and tell me he's sorry I have one.  Thanks God for speaking that so clearly into your daughter's disappointed heart this morning.


I'll be back; I'll pick up the reel You now have laying on the table and slide it in the View Master.  I'm sure the pictures will become pleasing over time as well.  It'll be just as fulfilling; it just won't look like the ones You gave me a few years ago and I'll need some time to get used to the new scenery.  However,You are good about letting me get my balance when things look blurry.  Thank you Father.  Click.

Epiphanies~such as they are.

I have an epiphany!

There. The recognition of the thing ought to be enough to get me to fix it and now.

That's really what I thought deep, deep down in my bones, though I never had put it into words before. A friend this week was able to say it in such a way that I actually heard it. (Or was it that God had tilled this soil so much that it was finally fertile?) She said, "In the time I've known you I've come to realize you just don't like the process of the thing." Now I had to let that set on me for a few days, but God finally got me to have a V8 kinda moment. I don't. I don't like the process. I just figure once you recognize it, it outta be polite enough to just simply GO AWAY. But it doesn't. I'm still overweight~~among numerous other things that I've come to realize I want changed about myself. Ugh.

The phrase~~This becoming is harder than it seems~~has always resonated with me. Maybe now I'm started to see why. And for years I've carried a butterfly on my key chain, because I really felt like God was telling me He was taking me through something and I'd like the end result if I'll trust the transformation. (See the analogy?) Sara Groves sings a poignant song about wanting to see a visible change like a snake shedding or a caterpillar in a cocoon. Maybe deep, deep down in my bones I knew this about myself already but refused to acknowledge it.

There's yet another epiphany. Ugh.

I can be a SLOW learner.

It's true, but oh, how I wish it weren't: I'm thick headed at times. I had an older and a younger brother--yep the tomboy right in the middle. And I've been informed over more than one holiday meal that I am indeed stubborn. Always thought of it as one of my better attributes. (Mind you it has indeed served me well in certain situations but for the purposes of this discussion I'll set those aside.) It has also meant that God has had to drag me kicking and screaming, arms crossed with lips tightly pursed through many a scenario over and over again! Like the lightning bolt that finally got through my, yes, thick head this morning.

Did you realize that when you husband asks you to do something that gets you outside and makes you sweat, that it made actually be the same as you asking him to "be more romantic would you already"? Don't rush past that. Read it again. OK , now let's think about it.

Romance to him IS "playing" together. Huh? They left that out of my fairy tales growing up!! He was suppose to sweep ME off MY feet, tend to My romantic notions--candle lights, rose pedals, jewelery--surely his mother told him?!? I bet my husband has asked me to ride a bike or jog or go outside join him more times than I can count. I have always considered it a nuisance. But was I actually turning down a sincere need of his? OUCH. He said I was, my stubborn self said, no-that's not what I was told, that's not how I feel, so-No.

Know what else? I would have told you I was meeting his needs. And I was. Cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids----but, and here's the kicker, was I caring for the needs he cared about most or that I cared about most? That's a question I will have to print on a card and put in my Bible and ask myself daily because I think it's one I need to pray over (and over and over and over).

So will I remember what God has finally gotten me to recognize this morning? I am praying that the same stubbornness that would not allow me to accept something as truth because I couldn't see it that way will now allow me to hang on to it for all I'm worth. That way the LORD can use it to grow me into a wiser woman, one who can be a better wife and mother--His way!

Hosea 4:16 (New Century Version)
16 The people of Israel are stubborn like a stubborn young cow. Now the Lord will feed them like lambs in the open country.

Bugs and other virtues.

Boys are amazing and curious creatures. (Of course they say the same about us, don't they?) What is it that allows a 5 year old boy to pick up a still alive wasp by the wing and run in the house yelling, "I have a bug for brother's bug collection!" Not get stung and send every adult in the house scurrying for cover---yes, we had company. Undaunted he stood there stomping his foot expecting one of us come and retrieve his valued prize. All we could do was scream, "Take it out and let it GO before you get stung!!" He did and he didn't get stung. Whew.

I really DO want to understand males more, honest. I keep trying. As the only female in a household of 7. I am often living among aliens. But I love each of them so very, very much. And so the research continues.

I can tell you they need to be verbally built up a whole lot more than you might have ever imagined, from the youngest to the oldest. You can almost watch them get taller, especially when they "overhear" you talking to someone else about them. However they know a phony when they see one too so make certain it comes from the heart.

It's so easy to correct and criticize and forget to praise. ugh. Make it something you determine to do intentionally or else it just won't get done.

If your like me, you goof this up all too often, but sister hope is not lost.

Psalm 51:10 "Renew a right spirit within me." Renew. To get the thing back. Right spirit. His spirit-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Within me. Matthew 15:18 (New Century Version) "But what people say with their mouths comes from the way they think;"

So. Let's break that down. What we are thinking is what comes out of our mouths. If we are filled with the right spirit, it'll be all that good stuff. It can be renewed when we get our thinking out of whack.

You can battle with me till the cows come home as to WHY a grown man needs to be verbally praised (I could even do it for you!) I'm trying to move beyond that. I'm just telling you he does. Plain and simple. Like it or not. I see it in my boys, I see it in my husband. I have spend too many years on the other side of this issue and I am laying this one down.

RENEW MY SPIRIT LORD!!!

Living with my Legacy in mind........

Like many (likely all of you) I have a story.
The experience has solidified in my mind the idea of living each day with my Legacy--that which I will leave behind me--in front of me.
I want to share with any who will listen the truths I am learning about God, marriage, parenting, myself, and anything that the LORD lays before me. I want to be a student of life. Never satisfied to be a passenger. No, I won't get it all right. Frankly that's part of what I hope to share. I don't enjoy failure but I want to learn from it.
I have been in Proverbs lately and am seeking to become "a wise woman". It will never be a destination I reach but I am praying for God to lead me in that direction. As a wife and the mother of 5 sons, understanding "men" and teaching young women has become one of my goals. There was just so much I simply did not know.
I pray this is something that will reinforce my learning, will be useful in my legacy, (prayerfully) beneficial to at least one woman in understanding the "men" God has placed in her life.
Blessings.