Is that even right, WAHM? I mean I won't be working from home, but rather working AWAY from home mom. Oh, either way, I'm not happy about it. You hear me boys?? I'm NOT happy about it. In case you ever question my decision or reasons...it was not because I didn't desire to be home with you and for you....I do. But I am being called to do something different for a season. I just personally think the timing stinks. So there.
Now, how we go forth from here is largely up to me. (Do you hate that reality as much as I do?) And I am not where I need or want to be Spiritually, so it is tainting everything. That's an unpleasant truth also. In order to do this with as little ill effects on my home, my heart has to change regarding this season of life.
There. That needs to be posted over my forehead or better yet on one of those headbands with a wire with this stuck to the end of it before my own eyes so I can refer to it often. Yeah. I am going to have to claim this verse until it is truth in my life.
Where would I be without God and His word? How would one successfully get through the droughts in life if they couldn't draw from Living Water? This is life. This is truth. This is the ground that doesn't give way, it is foundation Rock. I have neglected myself Spiritually and it has led to so much doubt and dissatisfaction. Ugh. Why do I have to repeat so many lessons? Lord you are so good. Your Word bring life and joy.
Boys, learn from me like the Berenstain Bears dad....learn from my mistakes in this and other arenas and don't repeat them. Lord, forgive me. Bring me back in to intimate relationship with You. Be the Father that teaches me how to be more than I think I am capable of being.
[I know this is jumbled and a bit raw. But that's where I am right now. And writing these thoughts has helped me process my own weaknesses in ways I needed to hear. Maybe I'll come back through and polish it up for the reader, and maybe I should leave it raw and real; kind of jumbled and all over the place like I feel right now. Either way, if there is a kernel of truth in it for you take it. If not just walk by the spilled mess on the floor and know that someone was carrying more than they could handle at the moment.]