This is a post for my boys......
Years ago, when my oldest 2 were little Billy Joel came out with a song that Dad and I modified as our sons "Goodnight Song".  Whereas his is wildly better I want to record yours for you to have because, well because, it's yours.  I love you all!


Goodnight my little boy, let's close your eyes
and save these questions for another day. 
I think I know what you've been asking me; 
I think you know what I've been trying to say.

I promise I will never leave you....
and you should always know,
No matter where I am, no matter where you go
You'll always be a part of me.

So someday when your child will cry 
and if you sing this lullaby,
then in your heart....
there will always be a part of me.



You will forever be a piece of my heart walking around in the world~~Mom

God is good

Even when I'm in a Spiritual drought. He is good. Even when I am only submitting externally. He is good. Even when I want a different answer. He is good.  Even when I want so much to be different. He is good. 

God is good. 

From SAHM to WAHM

Is that even right, WAHM?  I mean I won't be working from home, but rather working AWAY from home mom.  Oh, either way, I'm not happy about it.  You hear me boys??  I'm NOT happy about it.  In case you ever question my decision or reasons...it was not because I didn't desire to be home with you and for you....I do.  But I am being called to do something different for a season.  I just personally think the timing stinks.  So there. 

Now, how we go forth from here is largely up to me.  (Do you hate that reality as much as I do?)  And I am not where I need or want to be Spiritually, so it is tainting everything.  That's an unpleasant truth also.  In order to do this with as little ill effects on my home, my heart has to change regarding this season of life. 



There.  That needs to be posted over my forehead or better yet on one of those headbands with a wire with this stuck to the end of it before my own eyes so I can refer to it often. Yeah.  I am going to have to claim this verse until it is truth in my life. 

Where would I be without God and His word?  How would one successfully get through the droughts in life if they couldn't draw from Living Water?  This is life.  This is truth.  This is the ground that doesn't give way, it is foundation Rock.  I have neglected myself Spiritually and it has led to so much doubt and dissatisfaction.  Ugh.  Why do I have to repeat so many lessons?  Lord you are so good.  Your Word bring life and joy.

Boys, learn from me like the Berenstain Bears dad....learn from my mistakes in this and other arenas and don't repeat them.  Lord, forgive me.  Bring me back in to intimate relationship with You.  Be the Father that teaches me how to be more than I think I am capable of being.

[I know this is jumbled and a bit raw.  But that's where I am right now.  And writing these thoughts has helped me process my own weaknesses in ways I needed to hear.  Maybe I'll come back through and polish it up for the reader, and maybe I should leave it raw and real; kind of jumbled and all over the place like I feel right now.  Either way, if there is a kernel of truth in it for you take it.  If not just walk by the spilled mess on the floor and know that someone was carrying more than they could handle at the moment.]

Why.

Why Can't I be one of those people who love to sweat? Love to exercise? Love to set a physical goal and then work like crazy to make it? Why is this a burden, an obstacle, I can't seem to clear? Just. Why?

Home made Vanilla. Day 1

I found Madagascar vanilla beans at the Whole Food store in town and couldn't resist trying to make my own pure vanilla. Roy no longer makes trips to Mexico and I hear theirs has gone way up...so maybe it's time to learn yet another new trick! Guess this proves that I'm not an old dog quite yet.

January 1, 2013: The birth of a new friend, Stanley, the Sock Monkey

Seth did ALL the stuffing of the little monkey.Including adding a heart full of "love and joy."
















He's starting to look like a monkey now............love that boy's smile!

Meet Stanley.

Complete with a tail.


A new best friend....I think Seth likes him.


What a great memory for the two of us!  Love you Seth.

Giving away a piece of myself....one thread at a time.

FAR from everything I've done (even lately).  Concerned it will all get lost on FaceBook, so will try to add to Blog more often.

Now to get around to saying something worth hearing.........